I now I just blogged but i must just vent as well. I went away for the weekend right and you would think i am a 90 year old i am sooooo tired. Ok I am lucky I have not been plagued with headaches all week and for this I am grateful but another part if this disease is extreme fatigue and depression the depression is starting today not sure if its because i am nearing ovulation I believe I did this last month as well. I have been trying so hard to start back up in my exercise routine for over a year i used to be in really good shape now its pathetic last years surgery and anemia wiped me out and I just cant get it back. Everytime I start back up I get these streaks of days where I am either so tired or I have a few days of headaches. Pretty damn pathetic that I can not be taken out of my routine at all and I react like this!!! I look like shit people at the store notice I come home and can not keep my eye open PATHETIC! then I have no ambition at all my house is a mess and I just do not care at all. i am not spacy like I have been in the past thank God but so tired like really by noon I really just wanted to say to my husband can I just go home like I really did not think I could make it until 2 or at least 1for my break, just pathetic. I came home determined not to sleep because the last two nights I can not fall asleep after napping then I watched talking dead with Jake on demand and forget it I could not keep my eyes open. I am wondering if the reason I could not fall asleep is because I have not been using the progesterone creme as regular travel screws me up. So I started that back up and will use my brain massage music. Its just friggin frustrating that i have to work so damn hard to feel normal. And friggin forbid I forget to do something use the wrong lotion eat a fucking cheeto ............ Ugh just depression talking and it gets to me sometimes!!!!!!!!! And now I cant even use my deodorant and my mother thinks I am allergic to my job the silly things that people say that must be the reasons that you have migraines and the question I hate the most "how is your head?" fucking fine? how is yours? I know they are trying to be nice but Jeepers i am more then my headaches!! I have 2 people in my life one is a close friend one is an acquaintance that can take one look at me and say oh you have a headache sorry that is all I need and say that you recognize it and move on. if I act stupid and i will laugh with me and i will laugh. Ok there is my rant and i really hope i feel better tomorrow this sucks though it
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